Richard Deshong
Sooooooo many jokes on aging!
If you lose something in a senior care home, don't stop looking until you've searched every nook and granny.
Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they're the ones who are going to choose your nursing home.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Aging gracefully is a nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse.
The older we get, the earlier it gets late.
Old people are just young people who have been alive for a very, very long time.
Why am I getting older and wider instead of older and wiser?
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. "So," he says, "Do I come here often?"
What musical genre do older people with arthritis listen to every time they sit down and stand up? Pop.
You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.
The good thing about getting older is that you don't have to worry about things like acne anymore. The bad thing is that you start worrying about new things, like wrinkles and gray hair.
You know you're getting older when you have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.
I was told by my doctor that I should start exercising. So, I joined an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, and jumped for an hour. By the time I put on my workout clothes, the class was over.
These are not gray hairs! They are wisdom highlights! I happen to be very wise.
If my body were a car, I would trade it in a newer model… every time I cough sneeze or sputter my radiant leaks and my exhaust backfires.
Allow me to politely suggest this be the year you start lying about your age.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
At least I'm not as old as I'll be next year.
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get up again.
The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake.
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